(APRIL FOOLS) Introducing JimmyNet➕

UPDATE: Just in case it wasn’t clear—this was an April Fools joke. JimmyNet will continue to be completely free, with no ads, and no sale of personal information. This is a satire post meant to make fun of the commercialization of the internet and how everyone want’s you to buy a subscription to stuff.

Here at JimmyNet we (me and the voices in my head) have consistently delivered excellent blogging and other projects. However, the cost of servers has increased due to inflation and we can no longer offer this service for free. Because of this we are launching JimmyNet+: a subscription that will let you get the most out of JimmyNet. Below are a number of plans you can sign up for to experience JimmyNet.

JimmyNet Free

  • Includes Ads
  • You can read 3 blog posts per month
  • No access to JimmyNet software
  • Everything loads slowly and sometimes gives 500 errors.
  • We sell your data. And send you spam emails.

JimmyNet➕ ($5 per month)

  • Less Ads
  • You can read 10 blog posts per month
  • Access to some JimmyNet software
  • Fast loading times.
  • We still sell your data.

JimmyNet➕➕ Premium Deluxe ($10 per month)

  • No Ads
  • Unlimited reading
  • Unlimited JimmyNet software
  • Super fast loading times
  • We still sell your data but pretend that we don’t
  • 1 JimmyNet Email address
  • Free Jimmy Hoke T-shirt (shipping not included)

We hope this new model allows us to bring you even greater content. Click below to sign up!


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2 responses to “(APRIL FOOLS) Introducing JimmyNet➕”

  1. Carrie Hoke

    Please don’t sell my data or make me watch that video again!!

    1. Sorry, but now that we have a significant user base and have taken over the market, we have to shift the business model to cater to our business customers. After that we will rip them off and become a monopolistic middleman. This is just how tech startups work.

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